why it's okay not to remain "pure" before marriage

Three. The number of purity rings I have worn on my finger.
 Seven. The number of letters I have written to my future husband promising to remain pure.
 Six. The number of years I sat in youth groups and camps listening to purity sermons.

What do these things mean? I'm not exactly sure. And I don't know if anyone in my generation actually knows. We are taught from a young age not to have sex before marriage. We are given object lessons about duct tape. We are told we are like duct tape, the more we give ourselves away [like duct tape attaching to one item, being taken off, then attaching to another item] the less pure we are, the less we have to give to our future spouse. We have been told all our lives that the more we give our bodies away, the more tainted we become.

But these statements that we become less, are wrong. These are the lies that have left young people hurt, embarrassed, and insecure. These are the lies that have left us with secrets buried deep within the crevasses of our souls.

We are told not to have sex before marriage, but we don't get taught about sex. As hormonal adolescents and young adults we ask where to draw the line, and we are told just don't do it. We are told not to kiss, not to hold hands, don't be in an enclosed room alone. We are given remedies to a problem we have not been educated about. We have questions, but are afraid to ask in fear of being rejected or thought less of. We are told to "remain pure" as if it is the only thing that we will ever be wanted for.

All of these presumptions about who we are supposed to be leave us wounded, in the dark, with our secrets. They leave the young girl addicted to pornography alone in her bedroom for years because she has been told it's a man's sin and she feels too dirty to admit it to anyone. They leave the young couple, who explore each other's anatomy that one night in the car in that empty parking lot, afraid to face their leaders because they are not sure if they are still "pure." They leave the young person, who lost their virginity durning a one night stand one drunken night, pretending to be some perfect Christian, because he or she is afraid no one will ever love them for who they are.

Oh, but you my dear friends, are so much more than what you have done or what has been done to you. You are not tainted or dirty or unloveable. You are not defined by your actions. It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done. You were bought at a price. God came down to earth in human form, gave up his life, and literally died for ALL of your sins. You have been redeemed. You have been set free. The things of your past do not define you, even if your past is five minutes ago. You have been made new every single day. So go forward into this day, this week, this season as a new creation. Go confidently, knowing that you have been cleansed by the love of God.

You are wanted, you are incredible, and you are loved. Now go change your world.

*I am a firm believer that if we keep secrets hidden in those dark crevasses of our souls, we are giving evil powers more of a hold on them. I believe when those secrets are brought to light, healing can happen. I encourage you to find someone who you trust, to bear these secrets to. If you don't think you have anyone like that in your life, I'm always here, and I live in a very, very judgement free zone ;) And I will still love you, no matter what. So come be human with me :)

reasons i don't pray

Yes, You read the title correctly. Sometimes, I don't pray. Sometimes, I am terrified to pray. And most of the time, I don't pray because I am selfish and do not want the Lord to move in my life.

How often, when faced with a decision, have we been asked the cliché of: "have you prayed about it?" If you're part of the church body and have people who love The Lord and who care about you, hopefully you have been asked this genuinely many times. When we pray for wisdom, the Lord gives generously to all without finding fault. The fact is, GOD answers prayer. And sometimes, the answer is a whole lot harder for us to comprehend and live with than if we were doing things our own way. And for me, that in itself is a terrifying thing.

For example, Worship songs in church can become watered down, meaningless, or just another motion to go through at church. I laugh when I read statuses or hear people quoting song lyrics such as "break my heart for what breaks yours" or "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander." Do you really want The Lord to " break your heart", do you really want to go "where [your] trust is with out borders."

Because let me tell you, what breaks the Lords heart, is a painful thing. Sitting and crying with children who feel alone because they aren't loved by their earthly parents is a hard thing to do. Listening to young girls tell you that they aren't worthy or pure because they aren't virgins or may have STD's will make your heart literally hurt because you know this is a lie and they are made new and actions do not determine their worth or beauty. Praying with a child who is thankful for the roof over their head because they know what it is like to be without, will shatter your worldview and change your comfort zone. And these things, these people, are what breaks the heart of The Lord. And they hurt.

Living a life where your "trust is without borders" is no easy task either. I once prayed "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander." And I ended up without a home or job, away from my friends. He led me deeper than I would have ever wanted to wander, but I also was completely reliant on Him and "my faith was made stronger."

Our God is a powerful God. Lightening bolts flash from his hands. He spoke, and there was light. He looked, and nations trembled and mountains crumbled. He rode by, and the deep roared and lifted it's waves on high. He strode through the earth, and the sun and moon stood still in the heavens. Our God is real and loving and powerful. And God would do anything for his children, even send his only Son to live as a human on earth and to die for our sins, so that we can live forever in community with him.

So next time you are praying, remember that God answers prayers. He wants what is best for his children. And he want to refine us and make us new again, in him. Be prepared for fire and rain and pain. But being able to tell your story of redemption through God, being in community with God, being in constant communication with Him, is a beautiful thing. And that makes dying to self, a teensy bit easier, because you know, that in doing so, you are choosing to serve a loving, all knowing, relatable, creative, just, all powerful God.

so... pray willingly and unceasingly.

cobwebs, camp, and a tad bit of chaos.

Living authentically terrifies me.

I can do surface level authentic. I can do "yeah, my week wasn't the greatest and I'm having a hard time right now," when asked how I'm doing. In appropriate times, I won't put on a face and pretend everything is great. And if I ask how someone is, I actually want to know the truth. I won't ask if I don't want to know. I can be honest about what WAS wrong, after I've fixed it or it's all better. If I think you actually want to know, I'll tell you how I'm doing, I just won't tell you why.
I can do surface level authentic living.

But to actually live authentically? Hell NO. No. No. No. No way Jose. No no no. That would mean I have to be honest with myself, that would mean I would have to be vulnerable, that would mean others would have the ability to hurt me. No way. That doesn't work for me.

I run away when people get too close. I run away when I begin to feel emotions. I run away from being known.

But we were created for so much more. We were made for community. We were made in the image of God, who was/is/never will be alone. From the beginning, he was a part of a 'we.' We were designed to be incomplete, to need companionship. We were designed to be in community. But true, organic, real community is full of people living authentically with each other.

A couple months ago, I lead a cabin of seven young women who are in high school. We spent a week in the mountains, away from all technology, learning about how great our GOD is. We spent a week in true community. The first night we were there, I was completely honest at where I was in my life. During that time in my life, I was a hot mess, a wreck, completely broken [and I still am ;)]. I was honest with my girls, they knew my dirty secrets, they knew my struggles, and they knew my weaknesses. It was the most vulnerable I had been with a group in a long time. God used that vulnerability, and in turn, my girls were vulnerable with me. Thoughts, secrets, and lies of the world were brought to light, and truth was spoken. With that vulnerability, we experienced freedom.  We experienced grace and sanctification. We experienced community in the way it is supposed to be lived, through the freedom of authentic living.

I don't know exactly what living authentically means or what it looks like. Maybe living authentically is different for each person. Maybe it's not always a good thing. I don't think we need to be vulnerable with every person we come into contact with. In fact, don't be vulnerable with everyone you come in contact with. But be genuine, be real.

I want to strive for authentic living, for true community.  I need to be honest with myself and honest with God, and I don't know what scares me more. I need to admit that I am wrong and allow others to love me. I build cobwebs in the dark spaces so that things are partially visible but no one can quite see what is really hidden there. These cobwebs, this facade of protection, are keeping me from living truly authentically.

Why aren't you living authentically? What are your cobwebs? What are the hopes and fears that are keeping you from being in true community with the King or with those closest to you?

Every day I'm learning a little bit more what it is to live authentically. Learn with me?

Healthy-er Chocolate, Orange Lava Cupcakes

Lessons of the day:

1. When baking with a three year old, expect it to take twice as long. 

2. When that same three year old wants to help clean up, expect it to take three times as long. 

3. Don't let the three year old use the zester. 

4. Wait till bunt cakes are cool before removing from silicone molds, other wise you end up with cake pop makings. 

5. Chocolate really is more fun when it's in your hair, covering your skin, and on the ceiling ;)

Today was finally cool enough to turn on the oven and bake, and I got to spend the entire day with with one of my favorite three year olds, so we spent the morning baking. I'm weird, so I don't bake with milk, butter, eggs, sugar, or a recipe, but these chocolate, orange lava cakes turned out  a tiny bit dense, but very chocolately and delicious. Today was my first time baking cupcakes from scratch and my first time baking with  a three year old, so it was a bit of an adventure and a learning experience.   But here is the recipe for these healthy-er chocolate, orange lava cupcakes. 

Healthy-er Chocolate, Orange Lava Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1 cup multigrain pancake/baking mix

1/2 tbs baking soda

1 tbs baking powder 

1/2 cup unsweetened baking powder

1/3 cup applesauce

1 cup rice milk

1 orange zested and squeezed

1 tsp vanilla

1/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Frosting Glaze:

2tbs powdered sugar

1tbs unsweetened cocco powder

1 tbs orange juice

Makes about 12 cupcakes

Preheat the oven to 350

1. In a large bowl combine all dry ingredients.

2. Add applesauce and rice milk

3. Wash orange, then zest the entire orange, set aside zest. 

4. Juice the orange and pour into mixing bowl. 

5. With a spoon mix all ingredients except for chocolate chips

6. Use mixer for one minute to blend and to give cake mix bubbles. 

7. Stir in chocolate chips

8.scoop mix into cupcake tins. 

9. Sprinkle cupcakes with orange zest

10. Bake for 20 minutes. 

11. Let cool, then drizzle on frosting.

12. Enjoy!

For frosting:

Mix 2tbs powdered sugar, 1tbs unsweetened cocco powder, and 1 tbs orange juice in a small bowl. 

Finding Nineveh

Whenever I would think of Nineveh, as a child, I would think of death and destruction, and of a Godless place. But Nineveh is a place where God is found. A place where God reveals his love, his compassion, and his graciousness. 
In the past couple of months, I have found my Nineveh. I have come to a place where God has revealed himself to me even amongst my sin and in a time where my witness for him was doing more harm than good. He has shown himself to me in powerful ways, I get to see a side of God that I have not known. He is faithful and he has not given up on me, his child. 
I also found my semi-literal Nineveh. An actual city from which I was running far away. A place to which, by me telling God "no", I have had to take a more painful path, a rougher journey. I have learned that the belly of the whale, although the harder path, is a place where God can reveal his love and mercy and a place where I can learn true thanksgiving. 

About six months ago I began talking to this guy, not in a romantic way, but in a flirtatious, fun way. In my spirit, I knew there was something off about this relationship. It was the same pattern of communication that I had had so many times before. I would use him, and he would use me. Throughout those couple of months God showed me through His word and through mentors and small groups and sermons that I needed to stop talking to him the way I did. I was not helping him run towards Jesus and he was not helping me run towards Jesus, it was hindering the race marked before me. My eyes were not fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. But still I continued on this unhealthy path. I began to become vulnerable with this person who God was telling me to let go of. I began to try to convince myself that God was in it. I began to lie to people and tell them that it was right in my spirit, that God was with me in this. 
God was with me, he never left me, but his answer was always no. And my response was to ignore him and continue doing what I wanted. The worst in me came out, I became a person who I never want to be again. I wasn't bearing the fruits of the spirit, but began to bear fruits of jealousy and anger and bitterness. The words I spoke were unkind, harmful, and untruthful. 
There was a point where I saw who I was becoming and cried out to the LORD. I asked him one last time if this was what he had for me, and his answer was clear and audible, it was NO. 
And I fought that "no". I asked God to change his mind, I asked if it was a "no, not yet", and I pretended it was a yes. I couldn't let go of this hindrance on my own, I prayed that God would take it away. I prayed specific prayers because I knew I couldn't do it alone. And God was faithful and answered those prayers specifically.
 When I finally surrendered my life and this issue to God, I was still in the belly of the whale. I was hurt because of the destruction I had allowed my self to be vulnerable to. Daily I had and have to say yes to God. And daily, he is faithful. I had to say yes to applying for jobs in my Ninevah. My stubborn nature, although I knew God had rescued me from the storm, wanted to sit in the "comfort" of the belly of the whale. I don't know if anything will come from those jobs, but I've realized that if I had not said no to God so many times, saying yes would have been less painful.

What is keeping you from saying yes to God? What is the hindrance that is keeping you from running towards Jesus? Is it a job, a relationship, social media, a secret, what is holding you back? Listen to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit in your heart. You will know what you need to do. God is faithful. And I pray that he does not give up on you, his child. Let him pursue you, give him the things you are keeping from him. Say yes to God.

eight things about college

Some of the best advice people gave me when I was in college and some advice I wish someone had given me

1. Don't spend all your money in your first semester of college- I know you're thinking, "no, duh!", but it's easy to just start spending. When you have the money and a little rectangular card in your wallet, it is so convenient to spend. Confession: I spent 2000 dollars my first semester on NOTHING. I bought a Disneyland pass, which was worth the investment, but I have no clue where the rest of the money went. Slowly the tri-weekly trips to target, the daily outings to Starbucks, the late night fro-yo runs, and the forever 21 excursions  started adding up. 

My advice: Pay attention in your orientation class when they talk about budgeting, figure out what works best for you, and say no every once in a while. 

2. Find an internship- Explore different career opportunities and gain experience. One of the best things you can have when you graduate is experience, and there is no better time to give away your  time and skills than when you are getting college credit for it. And it looks good on a resume! 

3. Take advantage of the services your school provides- Find out what services your school provides, a lot of schools have counseling centers, career centers, tutoring centers, learning centers, and  much more. And the best part, they are all free. Counseling has a bad connotation, but it is great for your emotional health. Once you are in the real world, it costs a lot, so go, be healthy.  Meet with someone in the career center at least once a year, they will have job and internship opportunities, help you create your resume, and assist with career development. Don't be afraid to get tutoring, students who have gone through your hard classes can be a big help both mentally and emotionally. The biggest thing with this point, is ask for help. Find out who can assist you, who can make you a better person, and who can make your experience easier. You don't have to do it alone. 

4. Sleep!- Get a good nights sleep at least 3 times a week. Particularly on Sunday nights, start your week off with a good 7-8 hours ;) other wise, nap in between classes, enjoy late night food runs, have study sessions that begin at 10pm. Socialize after dark and don't be afraid to say yes to random nighttime adventures. 

5. Be authentic- You don't have to spill your life story and your heart and soul to everyone you meet, but be real. There is no one more you-er than you, so there is no one better to be than YOU. 

6. Say yes- There will be a lot of opportunities. Say yes to something, say yes to a lot. Find your nitch. Become involved in dorm life or inter mural sports or academics or clubs or student leadership. Be a part of something. 

7. Say no- something's can wait. Sometimes you need a break. Sometimes school is more important than your social life [only sometime ;)] Some times you need sleep. Every thing will be okay if you say no. 

8. Take alone time- The end. Take time to yourself. If you're living in a dorm, there will be people around all the time. Find a place and a time to be alone. You will thank me later, I promise, it will be a great thing. 

Make mistakes. Learn who you are. Change majors. Call your parents. Enjoy college. Do what you want. This is what you make it. Welcome to the roller coaster of becoming an adult, an individual 

adventurous august: gratitude of a gypsy girl

Currently:

loved. romanced. adored.

jobless, home less, alone.
complete, joyful, purposed.

A month ago, on July 14, I turned twenty-two. Already, this twenty-third year of life has been full of lessons, surprises, disappointments, unexpected joys, and adventures.

A week after my birthday, I left for two weeks of camp. Because of life decisions I had made the months preceding my birthday [read about it here], For a while, I did not want to go, I felt inadequate [But God used me as I was, broken. (I will write more about that later)] to be a camp counselor at a Christian bible camp.  I also was not sure where I was going to live when I returned from camp, was going to have to pack and move out of my apartment in three days, had a bit of chaos at both work and in friendships, and had applied for a couple jobs that are dream jobs. But I went anyway, and it was the best decision of my summer.

For two weeks, I had  no cell phone service, no internet, and no contact with any one outside of our camp. I did, however, have stars, fresh air, good friends, and a GOD who is faithful. Because of the lack of communication with the outside world, I was able to reevaluate my life, discussing it only with God. I realized how unhealthy certain relationships I had were to my well-being, so I let God have those people. I had no contact or control over anything at work, so I let God have those worries. I couldn't do anything about my housing situation, so I let God have those uncertainties. By the end of the two weeks, I had thought I had given God complete control of my life. He then pointed out my dependency on my best friends, so I let God have those friends.

I am so thankful for the time away from the world, spent only with God and with my camp family, because, when I got back from camp, I was exhausted, but was instantly thrown into the real world again. I had to immediately begin making adult decisions. Within twenty-four hours, our seventh home that we applied for fell through, I quit my job as a swim instructor and coach (which was one of the biggest joy givers in life), I took an indefinite hiatus from my internship, and moved all of my possessions into a storage unit. All of those things that I let God have, are now tangibly gone: my uneasy relationships are no longer a part of my life, I don't have a job, I don't have a home I call my own, and those friends I had a dependency on, I no longer get to see every day.

Why is all of this important? 

GOD is good. He is so incredible, beautiful, worthy, wonderful, perfect in his timing, and faithful. I have opened myself up to his love and have been allowing him to pursue me. He has never once given up on me. He has remained faithful in showing me his love. I have just never actually accepted his unfailing, unconditional love. He is the only one I am dependent on. I prayed the song Oceans, by Hillsong United, saying, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders, let me walk upon these waters. Wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever take me." And HE has. He has taken me to this place of uncertainty, I have no clue where I will live in a week, I am applying for jobs all over Southern California, and I am enjoying being pursued by my creator. I am not saying that I am always at ease with my current situation, I daily have to give up myself and my desires. My journal pages have been filled with words of anger, disappointment, sadness, thankfulness, joy, and praise. But God is good, and he never gives up on his Children.

kiss and tell

I am the girl who is a promoter of worth.  I am the girl who is a strong advocate for girls who don't feel good enough or have self doubt or don't respect themselves. And as for myself, I am confident in who I am I'm Christ, in where my value is found, and have always respected myself as a young woman in society. Or so I thought.

In this past year, I went a little crazy. I didn't become crazy over night, it didn't happen over a couple of weeks, but slowly over the year, I began to "go crazy." For me, this phrase "going crazy" is synonymous with the eroding of my soul, the numbing of my emotions, and the quenching of the spirit. 

I began to find my worth in things people said to me or things I did. In my mind, I knew I was valuable, I could recite any verse to you about being loved or being a child of God, but in my heart, I began to find value in what other people thought. I gained confidence when guys checked me out. Instead of an annoyance when a guy "cat called" at me, I got a little pep in my step. I began to crave the affirmation of an "up down" from random guys in bars. And I began to see men as objects of my bidding, rather than human beings. 

During this time I flirted excessively, kissed way too many guys, and always got exactly what I wanted. I learned to manipulate situations. I used guys for my pleasure and allowed them to use my body. And I wasn't ashamed of any of my actions, nor did I want to stop.   

Then, at the beginning of summer, I encountered a young man, who I wrote off as just another guy who I could manipulate and use. But he was different, he told me no. He told me he respected me. He was the first person to point out to me that I had grown accustomed to being used. The amount of guys I had kissed didn't impress him and my willingness didn't sway him. And with that encounter, he helped change my lifestyle and helped point me back in the direction I needed to be going. 

And even though I have this renewed perception of myself and of God, it is still a daily battle. Every time a guy ignores me or a friend brushes me off, I want to run back to who I was. I want to return to the security of being "wanted." But I have to remember I am a new creation in Christ. And I have God fighting with me, fighting for me. And that I am wanted and loved. 

This was one of the hardest posts I've ever written because it shows my brokenness and vulnerability as a human. But this is for you.  More than anything, I wanted you to know that you are so much more than what people say about you. You are not a lesser person because of your life experiences or lack there of. 

You don't have put yourself out there to be wanted. You are beautiful and so incredibly loved no matter what you have done or haven't done. YOU ARE WANTED AND LOVED.

feminist submission?

     Up until a year and a half ago, I had always had a negative view of feminism.  But I  realized that  God made me and everyone else, with a purpose and for a purpose. My view on feminism and anti-feminism was  completely changed after many discussions with friends and mentors. After I read Rob Bell's book, Sex God, I was able to articulate these thoughts.
     In the book, Rob Bell illustrates the juxtaposition between societies view of what submission is in relation to Ephesians 5:22 (“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also should wives submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”) and what God’s example of what submission is.
     Submission, as the Greek word hupotasso, means: “to place yourself under, to give allegiance to, to tend to the needs of, to be responsive to." The word hupotasso comes from two words: upo, meaning under, and tasso, meaning to place in order. It infers that submission is placing oneself under one another, out of “reverence of respect." Bell simplifies the definition of submission to: “Placing the needs of others ahead of her [or his] own” (Bell, 2007, p.115).
     Rob Bell also establishes and affirms the beautiful creatures that woman are. But not just as creatures, but as beautiful creations of the Lord. He reiterates that woman have worth and value without a man. And the author of Proverbs says in the thirty-first chapter that “a [woman] of noble character… is worth far more than rubies” (New International Version). Woman are the Lord’s and were bought at a price, they are loved, unconditionally.
     This idea of unconditional love of God is woven throughout the Bible. Jesus says in John chapter fifteen that “greater love has no one than this, that he lay his life down for his friend” (New International Version). Jesus sacrifices his life for his creation, he surrendered everything. He placed the needs of others ahead of his own, he submits. In the same way, as Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the marriage. He needs to be prepared and willing whole heartedly to sacrifice his life for his wife, to love and to submit to her. Not only do wives need to submit to their husbands; husbands also need to submit to their wives.
     But, submission is not a “one way street”. A relationship goes two ways. In order for a relationship to function healthily, each person (husband and wife, parent and child, friend and friend, etc.) need to put forth one-hundred percent of their allegiance, effort, and love. They cannot each give fifty percent, with the intensions of meeting half way, each of them needs to be in full surrender. Just as Christ was with his life, and just as the Church should be towards Christ.
     So you my dear friends. Remember, you are important and wanted. And a necsesary part of society. Go. Go change the world, show Gods love to those around you. You have value.

manna, not just the stuff that looks like boxed potatoes

This past weekend I escaped for a couple of days. I was a cabin leader for senior winter retreat/camp at Verdugo Pines Bible Camp. We were literally unplugged from the world (there was no reception) and throughout  the weekend we discussed being above the noise of our daily lives. 

What does that mean to you? For me, living above the noise is living in and with the one who is above the noise, God. It is being still and hearing his voice and acknowledging that he is God. It is, every morning waking up and spending time with him. 

For a lot of us, we don't know what it is to have a "quiet time." But, God gives specific directions on how He wants us to be in His word. In the old testament, through Gods provision of Manna for the Israelites during their exile in the desert, he gives the perfect metaphor for our need to have our daily bread.  In exodus 16:16-18, it says: "…each household should gather as much as it needs…everyone had just enough…each family had just what it needed." Our appetites govern the amount of manna we collect. We can have as much of Christ as we desire.  If we are unaware of your need for Him, only a little of Christ will be supplied to us.  The measure in which we "feed upon Christ" depends entirely on our felt spiritual need…aka our appetite for HIM.
It continues in Exodus 16:19-20saying   "…do not keep any of it until morning.  But some of them didn't listen…& by then  it was full of maggots & had a terrible smell."  The food collected today cannot sustain us for tomorrow.  GOD provides daily manna for the day!  This is a daily exercise that our souls must thirst for.  Trying to live our lives with the manna from the past is like trying to re-live the glory days.  It's a great memory but you're no longer living it, just simply reminiscing about it.
 Then continuing in Exodus.   "…the people gathered the food morning by morning…& as the sun became hot , the flakes they had not picked up melted & disappeared" (Exodus 16:21). Manna had to be collected early before the sun melted it.  No time is more precious to "gather manna" than in the quiet & stillness of the day. In the time when we are still and alone with HIM.  Before we are bombarded by distractions of thoughts, work, and life. We do not know what things may lie before us throughout the day, but we do know that we will NEED the strength of GOD to get us through the wilderness.

lessons in servant leadership from a six year old

"If you get to be in charge of me, then I get to be in charge of  my brother"

These are the words of defiance I heard from the six year old I was watching today. He didn't want to listen to me, but begrudgingly put his shoes on when  I responded to his question of "why do I have to listen to you" with "because I am your authority and God has placed  me here, so please respect me and put on your shoes."  Outwardly I blew off his comment about being in charge of his brother, but in reality I was wondering what it means to be in charge.

After quiet time, we sat down on the couch and read John 13:1-17. This section is the story of how Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciples feet, a job typically reserved for the lowest servants. This boy knew that Jesus, because he is God, is the ultimate authority, and together we came the conclusion that, even though Jesus was the authority, he also was a leader. 

Jesus was and is a leader because he had followers. I explained to this six year old that even though he is not in charge of his two year old brother, he is still a leader in his life. His brother follows him and mimics what he does. We discussed how he can lead his brother. In order to be a good leader, he must put his brother ahead of himself and make himself  less. We brain stormed ideas of how he could do this.

How can I be a leader to my brother?
Servant leadership:
-help him when he gets hurt
-help him with his toys
-help him clean up
Be and example:
-listen to mom and dad and babysitters
-listen to God
-first time obedience
-happy heart
-don't throw fits

No matter what age we are, no matter what our walk in life in, we can always be a servant leader. Even if we are not officially in a leadership position, we can always follow Jesus' example. In the same way that the two year old mimics his older brother, we out to mimic Jesus. He says, "I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you." The best way we can align out hearts with the Lords is to follow his example. We need to make ourselves less, and be willing to get down  and serve others.