what i wish i knew about moving forward

I wish they told you about the loneliness, about the isolation.

I wish they told you about the desperation to be known, to be heard.

I wish someone talked about this transition. The one post early-twenties, the transition into “adulting.” The transition where your people aren’t with you anymore. The one where your closest friends move away for jobs and new opportunities. Where half of them are married and some have even become parents. Where the change is mostly good, full of joy. But at the same time, you’re left navigating life alone yet still clinging to what you know and to your people.

You’re clinging, but no one is quite in the same stage of life as you or in the same place as you. And you’re left alone.

You’re left with your heart aching.

You’re left with the joy of new beginnings.

You’re left with pieces of the past.

I wish someone talked about this part of life, the mid-twenties. Finding who you are again, but this time without your tribe by your side the whole time. When you’re trying to make new friends and build authentic relationships without the easy access to a pre-cut community. It’s hard when some days your only connection to your people is a quick message in your group chat or a missed call because your days are chaotic and don’t quite match up. It’s especially hard on the days when you return to an empty home, but all you want is to go sit on your friend’s couch, drink hot tea, watch overly dramatic shows, and not say anything but at the same time have the freedom to say anything.

It’s hard to talk about when you’re the one who has been bit with the lonely bug. When it’s the battle you are fighting right now, when you can’t see the end. When you desperately want friends here with you now. Real friends, the ones who know your heart, your dreams, the darkest parts of your soul and yet still want to know you anyway. It’s hard to be alone.

And it’s hard to be alone, knowing your people are fighting their own kind of lonely battle

I wish someone told us, prepared us, warned us of this lonely bug. Because it seems like we’ve all got a bit of the lonely bug and haven’t quite figured out how to be alone together.