what i wish i knew about moving forward

I wish they told you about the loneliness, about the isolation.

I wish they told you about the desperation to be known, to be heard.

I wish someone talked about this transition. The one post early-twenties, the transition into “adulting.” The transition where your people aren’t with you anymore. The one where your closest friends move away for jobs and new opportunities. Where half of them are married and some have even become parents. Where the change is mostly good, full of joy. But at the same time, you’re left navigating life alone yet still clinging to what you know and to your people.

You’re clinging, but no one is quite in the same stage of life as you or in the same place as you. And you’re left alone.

You’re left with your heart aching.

You’re left with the joy of new beginnings.

You’re left with pieces of the past.

I wish someone talked about this part of life, the mid-twenties. Finding who you are again, but this time without your tribe by your side the whole time. When you’re trying to make new friends and build authentic relationships without the easy access to a pre-cut community. It’s hard when some days your only connection to your people is a quick message in your group chat or a missed call because your days are chaotic and don’t quite match up. It’s especially hard on the days when you return to an empty home, but all you want is to go sit on your friend’s couch, drink hot tea, watch overly dramatic shows, and not say anything but at the same time have the freedom to say anything.

It’s hard to talk about when you’re the one who has been bit with the lonely bug. When it’s the battle you are fighting right now, when you can’t see the end. When you desperately want friends here with you now. Real friends, the ones who know your heart, your dreams, the darkest parts of your soul and yet still want to know you anyway. It’s hard to be alone.

And it’s hard to be alone, knowing your people are fighting their own kind of lonely battle

I wish someone told us, prepared us, warned us of this lonely bug. Because it seems like we’ve all got a bit of the lonely bug and haven’t quite figured out how to be alone together.

the school of all students

To my EDUCATOR friends (Teachers, Principals, and Anyone else who works with kids ),

This video is IMPORTANT.

It's an 90 minutes, but  it's worth every minute (except the first 6, skip those).   listen to it on your commute, or when you're doing dishes, or instead of watching tv one night, just listen. Or read this blog, which is a partial transcription of a talk he gave at Townsen University. (http://georgetownsepac.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-silenced-say-evening-with-jonathan.html)

Jonathan Mooney is one of my new favorite speakers. He reads at a seventh grade level and spells at a third grade level and says he has the attention span of a gnat, yet, he graduated with an English degree from Brown University.

In one of his lectures, he talks about the school of all students. The school where all students are expected to sit still, pay attention, complete their assignments in the way that all students should. He shares his experience of going to school in the hallway and at the desk next to the principals secretary. All his life he was asked why he was so lazy, what was wrong with him, and what was his problem. Schools tell you you're broken. To fix yourself or get out.

So my question is: how do we address this?  How do we take away the stigma of learning disabilities? What do we say to the teachers who say I'm not trained for this, I can't deal with my one student who is acting out/throwing a tantrum/ being a distraction, I have 28 other students who I have to teach. What do we say to the person who categorizes a person as their disability. And how do we have these discussions with kindness.

I may be bias because I am passionate and am paying to be educated about this subject, but this is a conversation education needs to continue to have. "We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that she is someone today."

Let's stop forgetting to love and care for people where they are at.